


Outside the Absence of Fear

by beetle



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Post-Chosen, post-nfa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/pseuds/beetle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Altyronsmaker’s prompts are: '200 words, Post-“Chosen” and -NFA Spander and "Absence Of Fear," by Jewel. Make it hurt.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outside the Absence of Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Notes/Spoilers/Warnings: Post-NFA by several years.

“You know all that ‘mystical third-eye’ crap?”   
  
He grins; it’s mostly leer, and makes my heart beat faster.   
  
“For me, it’s not seeing, it’s . . .  _Knowing_. When I step outside, I could go left or right--or go back inside. Three choices, with worlds of possibility beyond them. But I  _Know_  the best way is left--and my favorite diner is that way, too--so I go left.   
  
“Worlds of possibility wink out, like dying stars. New worlds bloom like roses. . . .”  
  
Spike laughs, pokes at his runny eggs. “What are you on about, mate?”   
  
I want to reach across the diner table and brush my fingers over his scarred eyebrow, but I go on, before I lose my resolve. “I can’t be there with you, Spike.”   
  
He blinks, but not before I see realization dawn.  
  
“You live in this . . . absence of fear . . . I admire that.”   
  
I know-- _Knew_  before he knew--how he feels, what he wants to say. . . .   
  
“I admire  _you_.”   
  
. . . and that today was gonna be the day he said it.   
  
“But I can’t live there with you. I  _Know_  how it’ll end and I just . . . can’t.”  
  
The warmth in Spike's eyes winks out.  
  
Worlds of possibility die.  
  



End file.
